Soul Eater Therapy
by Warwulf
Summary: What happens when you give the Soul Eater characters therapy? This. Let the chaos begin!


**AN: I am currently working on a fanfic for Sgt. Frog, but I wrote this just because I could. This will be continued I guess, so be sure to review and tell me who you want to go to therapy next.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater. Just my OCs.**

**Rated T for anger and stuff.**

* * *

Shinigami-sama had had enough. It was one thing to love symmetry, but another to freak out over every little tiny insignificant detail. He was worried about his sons health. He coughed blood and passed out when the symmetry was ruined. So, he decided to send his son to a therapist. She might be able to help him with his OCD.

Shinigami-sama decided on this because, two days ago…

_Flashback_

Shinigami-sama was watching a weapon and meister battle a kishin when Death the Kid stormed into the Death Room.

"FATHER!" He yelled, "WE HAVE TO MOVE!"

"What?" Shinigami-sama asked, confused.

"Gallows Manor is in an asymmetrical location." Kid explained, "Therefore, we have to move."

"But, Kiddo, you haven't mentioned this before and I'm sure the house hasn't moved." He said.

"Today I noticed that there was a part of the ground that was higher than the other side." Kid said.

"Can't you just dig it up?" Shinigami-sama suggested.

"No! Then there'd be a patch of dirt on one side and not the other." Kid said.

"…what about digging then planting new grass?" He suggested.

"No! The grass would take too long to grow." Kid said.

"Well, we're not moving." Shinigami-sama said.

"We have to!" Kid said.

"But, Kiddo…" He said.

"WE. HAVE. TO. MOVE." Kid yelled.

"Just go home and fix it." He said.

"I can't." Kid said, "I can't! I'm a failure. A disgusting asymmetrical failure."

Kid proceeded to fall to the floor crying. Shinigami-sama patted Kids back gently.

"There there." He said, "Later, when I go home, we can fix it together."

"Really?" Kid sniffed.

"Yep." Shinigami-sama sighed.

_Flashback End_

Sadly, while he was distracted, the weapon and meister pair disappeared and haven't been found yet. Another example, yesterday…

_Flashback_

Shinigami-sama had come home after a long day of work. He went down the hallway to his room. Then walked backward to stand in front of the bathroom. He could see Kid inside, trying to…chop his hair off.

"Kid? What are you doing?" He asked.

"Making my hair symmetrical." He replied.

"Kid…if you do that, you won't have any hair." Shinigami-sama said slowly.

"I know." Kid said, "But I can't stand this anymore. With this hair, I am an asymmetrical, no-good, pig. I should just die."

He grabbed the scissors to cut off the first lock of hair. Shinigami-sama rushed forward and grabbed the scissors. They looked small in the giant sized gloves.

"Father, give me the scissors." Kid said, trying to grab them.

"You can't cut off your hair." He said, keeping them away.

"Why?" Kid said, still trying to get the scissors.

Shinigami-sama put the scissors in his cloak. Kid calmed down eventually.

_Flashback End_

Shinigami-sama remembered the result of that. He really shouldn't have put the scissors in his cloak. When he sat down…they stabbed him in a most uncomfortable place. He'd rather not think about it. That is why Kid really needed therapy…and Shinigami-sama himself might need some too.

He'd called a professional in to help Kid.

Death the Kid walked to the Death Room. His father had something for him. When he got there, he saw that there was a lady sitting at the little table shaped like his dads mask. Apparently, his father had gotten him a therapist. Shinigami-sama left the two in the room.

"Hello." She said, "My name is Jane Knight, but you can call me Jane."

"My name is Death the Kid, but everyone calls me Kid." Kid said.

"So, your dad told me you had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Is that correct?" She asked.

"No, Ms. Knight. I do not have OCD." Kid stated, "I simply enjoy symmetry. Hm, you only have a nametag on one side."

"Yes." She said.

"What is wrong with you?" He shouted suddenly, startling the therapist.

He reached across the table and ripped the nametag off. He then ripped it perfectly in half and threw it away.

"Oh, my. Your OCD is more severe than I thought." She said.

"I…might have OCD." Kid admitted, "But it's nothing to worry about."

"Did you have any childhood trauma?" She asked.

"No." Kid stated.

"Do you feel like your father isn't spending enough time with you?" She asked.

"No." Kid said.

"What about your mother?" She asked.

Kid blinked.

"I never knew her." He said.

"Does that bother you?" She asked.

"Only a bit." Kid said, "No, it is not likely to be the cause of my OCD."

"Then what do you think it is?" She asked.

"I don't know. I'm getting tired of this." He said, annoyed, "Your hair is asymmetrical."

"Yes, so…" She said.

"It's hideous." He said, cutting her off, "It can't be fixed. The color is the thing that's asymmetrical."

He started mumbling to himself. Ms. Knight was scared by the insane look in his eyes. Suddenly, he leaped over and started butchering her hair with scissors. She stood and tried to run away screaming. Someone with a disorder shouldn't have scissors. This was her mistake though. Kid followed her, snipping off pieces of hair madly as he chased her. Everyone they ran by in the school just sighed and went back to their work. By the time she reached Gallows Manor, she only had a few strands left on her head. By the time Shinigami-sama opened the door, Kid had caught her and was struggling to snip off the rest. He almost stabbed her eye. Shinigami-sama grabbed his son and lifted him up.

"I FREAKING QUIT! YOU'RE ALL DERANGED LOONY BIRDS AND YOU ALL BELONG IN SOME SORT OF ASYLUM THAT WILL KEEP YOU LOCKED AWAY FROM NORMAL PEOPLE FOREVER!" She screamed.

She then ran off, got in her car, and drove away as quickly as possible. She ran over a cat.

"Well…that was a bit harsh." Shinigami-sama said, "And Kid, why would you do that?"

"She was asymmetrical." He said.

"You have to stop doing that to people." He said, "What do you say we go to Deathbucks? Just you and me, son?"

"Sure, father." He replied.


End file.
